Put Your Hand in the Hand...

I can't believe it's been nearly 2 years since my son's diagnosis. In some ways it's been the longest 2 years of my life and in other ways, if feels like it was just yesterday.

We're beginning the process of prepping him for school. Real school. The big brick building down the street where hundreds of kids go? The place where he'll spend 1330 hours a year in? Yes, that place. He currently attends the most amazing preschool ever along with his NT twin. These people are miracle workers, I swear. Anyway, each day I get a full report from his sister on what they ate, what songs they sang, who they sat next to during music time and a summary of the book the teacher read that day. Great, right? Just what every parent of a non verbal child wants - a full report! Well this week it dawned on me that they won't be in the same class next year. Heck, they likely won't be in the same school. How will I know what my son does all day? How will I know if he did something new or if he sat still or if he played with a toy in a purposeful manner? How will I know if he's being challenged or if he's being ignored? How will I know if he's sad?

I was thinking about this when we were taking the kids to their swimming lesson this morning. I was feeling tense and was so filled with worry when we pulled into the parking lot. We all got out of the car, my husband walked towards the building with our daughter and I was with our son. I usually carry him in parking lots (he's a major flight risk) but this morning I plunked him down, at the ready to scoop him up. Instead of bolting, he took my hand. HE.TOOK.MY.HAND. So mother and son walked towards the building, hand in hand, just like that. I have tried on countless occasions to get him to hold my hand. I've longed to feel his soft little hand in my mine, trusting me to guide him the right way. It's the best feeling in the world. I beamed with so much happiness and pride that the school stuff doesn't seem so stressful anymore.

It will work out, it may be difficult, but we'll make it work. We have to and we will. And it will be ok.